Thursday, January 3, 2008
The Boondocks Catch-Up: Stinkmeaner Strikes Back
"What's good, nigga?!" Ah, if only niggerdom and variations of niggardry therein could ward off the devil and his minions. If only we could, in fact, keep the devil down in the hole. Maybe then we could save our wayward, darkened souls. Sheeeeeeeiit, I'm writing that down! Soon you'll hear me sing that in the church house. Today's catechism comes from the book of Mexico. Please turn with me to the fourth chapter. In the seventh verse the word of hate reads: "Niggerish hands are the devil's workshop." Remember what I said, children. More memorable still is the advice of our people's presiding North Star. Ghostface Killah clasps both hands, still crusty, to offer an oracion of guidance to Huey. You can't kill an idea. You can't fight ignorance with violence. And you most certainly can't get 2 cracks for $9. Tom's possession by the spirit of Colonel Stinkmeaner resulted in a barrage of shit-talk that I still incur almost daily. "Oh, yeah! Look at you! You was poppin' all that good shit a second ago. Then you got kicked in yo' chest." It was also fun to hear Cedric Yarbrough get Rick James wit it. "Yeah, I remember grindin my feet in Eddie Murphy court." Despite how juvenile, my favorite quip of the episode comes during Grandpa's quest for booty with the hot forgein woman. "Did you tell her you got 2 sets of genitals? --A vagina and a coochie?" A nigga moment can take life, stunt growth and destroy opportunity. However, it'll never stop a negro in pursuit of booty. I'm glad Reverend Ruckus returned for an exorcism. By providing the same type of spiritual cleansing that his beloved white man has bestowed upon us for centuries he only brings the prophecies of the god and prophet Dennis Coles to fruition. "We must use these tools that the great God has given us to fight niggers." While most walked away from this episode with clarity, I left a little confused. This is not because I believe job applications and workboots to niggers are like holy water and garlic to Eddie Murphy in a perm wig. I now can't discern who channels the spirit of Stanley Crouch more, Uncle Ruckus or Stinkmeaner.