Friday, January 4, 2008
Lisa Stansfield vs. Taylor Dayne: Who's The Blacker White Singer?
I tihnk it's high time I explained this week's poll question. Last week on Funkyminds, Jackpot had a post cataloging white chocolate. I took particular offense to the exclusion of one Ms. Lisa Stansfield. Granted, the list was exploratory in nature and by no means a definitive or even a thoroughly collection of any kind. It was just another one of Jackpot's post-lunch Itis-nap brainchildren. I still thought it criminal negligence of the highest degree to have a list like that, cite Taylor Dayne, and not even have Lisa Stansfield wander through your brainforest. That's like letting Jermaine Jackson sing lead and relegating Michael to backup. Exhibit A: Lisa Stansfield Tears Down Arsenio That's right. What's blacker than performing on "The Arsenio Hall Show?" You tell me. Taylor Dayne is absolutely terrifying. She looks like a blow-up doll. Blowsephine may be a tad more niggerish than Lisa Stansfield, but she don't got an iota of Lisa's soul. Not a single black-eyed pea's worth. Exhibit B: Even "The Man" Needs A Taste We ain't even discussing "All Around The World." That shit was so hot Barry White had to ignore his doctor's orders and slob down a slice of that angel cake. "She bad. She bad." Mmmm. Fuck with that, Taylor Dayne... with your plastic face and pornstar handle. Is that even your real name? No, it's not, Lisa Wunderman from Baldwin, Long Island. That's Barry there. He's lookin at Lisa like the chicken strip box! He'd pass your ass over like cauliflower. The real Lisa sings "All Around The World" with Barry White. Lisa Wunderman (from Baldwin, Long Island) would be lucky to sing "Tell It To My Heart" next to Alfonso Ribeiro. By the way, if you havent, you absolutely must see this. So yeah. Ummm... Vote for Lisa! --The one that rode with her natural snowflake name and still brought the soul to Londontown, that is. [Click here to read Jackpot's Taylor Dayne campaign]