Monday, October 22, 2007

Gotti's Way Double-Up: "Redemption's Song" b/w "Who's Your Daddy?"

"Whattup, Gotti?!" -Ja Rule, 2003/Ron Mexico, 20 minutes ago I don't know what's more ironic, my insistence upon this song as definitive of the Murder Inc. philosophy on hit-making (not to mention appropriate background music for the blog), or Bobby Brown wearing a Len Bias jersey... especially given the events of the past week. What the fuck?! Bobby probably left the final 8-ball in Len's lap. Really. What kind of sick bastard would own and wear a Len Bias jersey? I'm sorry. I'll leave the rest of what I thought of this video back on the hideous, green hip-hop-flavored website. It's the "Talkin' Videos" series' inaugural Throwback Thursday, ya know. Heh. Heh. When you're winning, fight like you're losing" -Irv "Gotti" Lorenzo We all saw the trial, heard the phone conversations with 'Preme on BET, saw "Get Rich or Die Trying." We know the backdrop. But let me ask you all this. Does any nigga know how to leave a courthouse with class?! Does a nigga always gotta "George Jefferson walk outta federal court?" Not that I anticipate him having anything to celebrate, I sure as hell hope Michael Vick handles day with dignity. You're now the most beloved black man in America, according to The Negro Channel. Here's episode 1 in a spent hollow-point shell: -Washed-up, cheatin'-ass Irv put a Kool-Aid pitcher's worth of sugar into some pasta sauce to show us he's a loving and devoted father. -His ex-wife, Deb sure does complain a lot for being a kept bitch with no degrees or discernible skills. How dare she insult a woman out here in the world busting her ass to raise some kids by complaining on national television about how hard her life is. Shit. Let me be somebody's kept bitch. I'll be Meryl Streep's kept bitch. I don't give a fuck. Meryl. Holler at a nigga 'bout that "Mandingo Madness" Snapple. -Irv offers to buy a new house for his family with his new Capital One Platinum card. His wife doesn't want to move because the house she already lives in is already paid for and she knows too many rap wives back in the projects for making one house-jump too many. Smart, KB (kept... you know). The kids just know they're already "the shit" in their town. They don't want have to go through the drama of explaining to a whole new school full of kids who their daddy is and why they shouldn't be called "Blackie." -I was about to give KB the nod in the "intelligence" category until I saw her hanging out with DMX's wife. *whistle* We have a flag on the play. Roughing the Crackhead. 15-yard penalty. Must re-prove intelligence. Whitney Houston was waiting for them off camera in the ladies' room. -VH1 duped all of us into thinking that Russell Simmons shit on Irv Gotti at a lunch table. Them's MexicoNotes. You'll soon be able to find them at fine retailers such as: Barnes & Noble, Borders, Target, Duane Reade, WalMart & Genovese. Cut the fucking check, RiteAid! I think Ja actually has a serious record in the tube though. He's screaming again. He's not whining about bitches and raindrops. It's cool. If nothing else, the exposure this program garners certainly won't hurt Ja's promotional push. Actually, it's plenty good for Murder Inc. as a whole. Shit, I didn't even know Vanessa "A Thousand Miles" Carlton was on the label! I'm just sayin. She had the brothers at "Makin' my way downtown./" On the other side of the hot comb, we have Lloyd, who beat the shit out of the planet earlier this year with "You," featuring Lil' Weeziana. He'll also keep the kiddies krumping with the immortal FEMA Freestyle classic "Get It Shawty." Back at the homefront, his stepdaughter, Angie, who raped his heart with a strap-on, is starting to get picked on at school because... well... her daddy laundered drug money to make Thuggin' Love Monster Ballads. Even more piercing than the usual teasing, someone at school was bold enough to pull the "he's not your REAL daddy" card on Angie. To this Irv retorts: "I'm my kids' daddy. I don't give a fuck. I'll beat a 15-year-old ass worse than Tony Yayo." We need so much more of this in our community. I'm all for the young junglebunnies having daddies! In an age where so many men walk away from their own children, it's nice to see a man stepping up for a nut he didn't even drop. The funny shit is that in New Rock City, the kid who talkin shit about your daddy probably can't name theirs. Irv wisely chose to take a step back and talk it out Angie Gotti after sending her to Lloyd's 106 & Park appearance. I learned a few things from this outing. First, Angie is a huge bitch. She's cute, though. No Kelly! If Gotti ever fucks Lloyd over with the contract, he knows he can fuck his daughter in return. Shit, he can probably fuck KB too. Doesn't Lloyd look kinda like Sammy Davis, jr., jr., jr.? After putting in obligatory time with the kids and the KB, Irv Daddy is still man enough to take out the trash in the house he paid for, but can't live in. He's a bigger man than I. I'd have just stepped over that shit and gave that naggy ho the stiff-arm. That's right, the Ghetto Heisman. Sheeeeeit. She could be taking that shit to the incinerator in the middle of the floor with the other 7 project apartments on it. Ah. I'm building my castle of love. "This is what we buildin' here [on Ron Mexico City]! Classic SHIT!!!" -Ja Rule, 2003/Ron Mexico, really recently

10 comments:

Flirty said...

Hahahaha....."Mandingo Madness Snapple". I can't wait for that one.

ONE said...

Damn, that White Chick clip had me dying.

Cant believe Irv still gotta cook for that bitch. Shit, Id keep her on a Banana split 'N nut yougurt Diet.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Damn I feel for those kids. At least now I know that Lloyd is signed to a label I've heard (not respected, but heard) of... Who gives a fuck about Lloyd tho?! I can't believe my wife told me I could marry Oprah and she could be my mistress! I'm already KB but then I'd be an actual KB in a bad way. Keep up the exceptional work Ron!

c b w said...

KB...that's funny. I'm surprised Lloyd even asked her for her opinion on anything.

Lloyd: Do you like this jacket?
Angie: Well, not..real
(rudely interrupted)
Lloyd: Shut the fuck up! Why am I asking you? You ain't even I.G's biological kid. Bring me some water! G-g-g-g-g-get it shawty!!

And that taking out the trash shit was for the birds. I would've grabbed the trash, waited for her to close the door, drop it on the steps and then honked the horn to say "Take the shit out ya' self!!! It's Murdaaaaaa!!!!!" Beep Beep!

p.s. DMX's wife is the female Tyrone Biggums. A crackhead selling houses and snorting up the profits. Wow!

Ron Mexico said...

ahahahaha @ both of you.

KB, my bad, holmes. you know i ain't mean it like... fuck it. lemme stop talking. i'm not gonna make it any better.

CBW is like David Lee. i can always count on this nigga for the ever-important tip-in!

female tyrone biggums?! wow

g-g-g-g-get it shawty? hysterical.

Yung Ether AKA A Hustla Named DubbSacks said...

ron said: Doesn't Lloyd look kinda like Sammy Davis, jr., jr., jr.?


No sir, that nigga right there is Gonzo in the flesh. Tashera on the other hand, give that bitch a crew cut and some glasses...mr. bojangles ALL DAY!!!

Bird said...

Yall gonna ease up off KB, I mean former Mrs. Irv. She done had to lay up under that fat idiot for years knowing he been sucked off by Superhead among countless others. The least he could do is buy her a house and take out the damn trash.

c b w said...

Bird,

You know we can't ease up. Also, she ain't the former Mrs. Irv. all they did was go through a ghetto divorce. I will give it to her for holding onto a mortgage free home. And she can still take out her own damn trash.

ONE said...

so because Irv got his dick sucked, as he should(no K.west cousin) since he paid for everything(Including Angela, lol) KB should get a house... shit, Id let my girl blow any nigga if I could get a free crib then.

Bla said...

Bird,

You're right, she did lay up under that fat idiot for years, however, it was by choice. She DIDN'T Have to. She knew what she was doing, why she was doing it and what for. She made the sacrifice she felt she had to make in order to be a KB. She's a KB.