Friday, September 28, 2007
Hurricane Chris - "A Bay Bay" (plus Ratchet Remix) video
Here's one from my hiatus that we shouldn't let go without discussion. Sorry. This nigga can't get off the hook. You all know the single. Hurricane Chris swept the summer away with his sugar broom and infectious catcall-turned-single "A Bay Bay." To his credit, at least it's not a dance. Look at this burnt stick of Juicy Fruit. Dude look like Tevin Campbell and his AZT combo spent a little time in Jamaica. Who the fuck told Sweet & Lo he could come out with beads in his braids? Don't you know you look one of the fuckin Pointer Sisters? Patrice Rushen up in this motherfucker! Oh, what? Y'all forgot her? Even after she asked so nicely? Maybe he should have come out as Hurricane Catrina. I mean... I thought it was Da Brat at first. What is his homie doing? I'm talking about the one that look like Soulja Boy Told'Em Long Ago. Is that the fried chicken dance? Y'all know I can't keep up with all this shit. Damn, that shit got his eyes rolling back. Must be Popeye's. The obligatory homie dance clips are more embarrassing than "Take The Cake." These niggas really need to stop acting like they ain't shooting this shit on their lunch break at the day care center. Counselor Chris got that summer job crackin and is enjoying his captive audience. Chris: Hey, keeeids? Wan' hurr dis hurr new shit I done wrote? Kids: YAYYYY!!! Chris: Aight, dig dis hea' mayne. Yellabone chirpin me. She wanna know where I'mma be./ You gon' lemme get up in yo' mouf? Well, dat's where I'mma be! The kid definitely got himself some flow though. He ain't sayin' bout nothin, but I can tell he has an idea of what to do on the mic. He sounds like he's picking up where Chingy left off. I hear Lil' Cane's next video is gonna be the highly-anticipated "Celebrity Dude." He and Steph Jones are goin' half on that. I see Mike Epps ain't got shit else better to do with himself than reverting back to video whoring. Better that than another shitty HBO special, I guess. Oh, you know we had to do the remix. Damn. That little kid still up doing the hook? Ain't nobody put this little nigga to bed yet? I bought a $20 sack from him like 2 nights ago. Way to start off a remix. Nothing like a quality Big Meat verse. Flavor Flav, jr. didn't learn a damn thing from daddy's music, huh? I think Flavor secretly wishes Boosie could be more like Designa. 40 Water wasn't playin about growin them dreads, huh? Too bad he wasn't serious about his verse. Oh shit! What the fuck is this?! Look at Hurricane Chris' lesbian counterpart! Rest assured. Angie Locc is hollerin' "A Bay Bay" at all the same hoodrats as the rest of these rapster dudes. Shorty look like a Wanda Sykes character or some shit. If she "cain't feel her face," maybe her girlfriend needs to loosen up the leg scissor. Look at Jadakiss on the anchor verse at twice the size we last saw him. I see Sheek playing the background as usual. Where the fuck is Styles? Uh oh. My worst Lox-related fear may finally have been actualized. I think Jadakiss ate him.