Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Bionic Bullshit

I just watched NBC's completely retarded reincarnation of the Lindsay Wagner classic, "The Bionic Woman." Alright, let me not fuck around. Phony nostalgia serves no one. "The Bionic Woman" was a watered-down spin-off of "The Six Million Dollar Man," a far superior program, and this is watered-down recreation of that shit. Yep, as expected, some third-generation diluted shit. Great job casting an end-of-the-bar skank as the protagonist. Now, I have no problem watching heaving chesticles bounce, but damn... I haven't been subject to such terrible acting since "Glitter." How old is the little sister supposed to be? 12? 14? 16? I know the "Power Rangers" conversion chart. Everyone's at least a +5. So, 18-year-old Lucy Hale should be playing at 13-year-old little sister. Back to the shittiness. My buddy (same one from the Vick blog) was super geeked for this program so I decided to watch it with him. Better that than watching the Mets choke on every dick in the NL East. All I derived from this lost hour of my life is that no degree of technological advancement can save us, the general viewing public, from shitty television. If they put half the effort into writing and acting as they did the special effects, the Negroes Banned Channel might have something with this. As it stands though, I'd rather see the 70s snowflake diva crush the tennis ball. A little later I'll be back to tell you what I think of this "A Bay Bay" shit.

11 comments:

Yung Ether said...

tell me you didn't actually watch Glitter, lmao...'id rather rather dry hump broken glass.

ayo ron, what you think about those Oscar DeLaHo pics?

Ron Mexico said...

hahahaha!

i don't know what to think. if they were photoshopped, that was a pretty nice job.

if that's really him, the man's entitled to his crossdressing.

i always say... if you want to smear mud on your ass...

Bird said...

Ron, if you sat through that whole episode of Bionic Women then your stomach and esophagus strength is far superior to mine. After about 15 minutes I let out an exasperated, "Fuck this shit" and turned the channel in desperation to whatever buttons my fingers could push the fastest. I was only watching because Isaiah Washington was going to be in it. Oh well, later for his ass.

Anza Borrego Spirit said...

Man, I'm just waiting for the "A Bay Bay" blog. My gut is telling me that's going to be an all-time classic on your part.

Anonymous said...

I AINT EVEN WATCH IT BUT I PROLLY COP SOME OLD 6MILLION DOLLA MAN RERUNS THAT WAS DA SHIT DUDE WOULD KICK DOWN EVERY DOOR FUCK A DOOR HANDLE. BUT THA BEST WAS "FALL GUY" MEMBA DAT MAYNE I EVEN WANTED COLT'S TRUCK.

BUT BOUNCIN CHESTYS R GOOD IN MODERATION

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THAGRINDAHOLIC
NUTHIN BUT SLAP

Sahara said...

Sorry didn't I never got into the Bionic Woman thing, then or now. But I am interested to hear you guys take on BET's latest failed effort to "do better" by hosting a hip hop vs america discussion. Did anybody see Nelly, TI and Mike Jone's attempt to defend hip hop in all their countryfried glory? It was hillarious. Mr. Mexx please blog a response.

Edgar That Mexican Guy said...

I watched the entire show and it was awesome. SO much bad acting. It was great. And the blond Bionic broad looked like the joker when she smiled with the red lipstick.
And the show has the most believable premise A "doctor" who works for a top secret government agency is dating some bartender chick. Yeah, that could happen in real life. I wonder if he tells his doctor friends "She's just my jump-off".

Bird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bird said...

Sahara

I have found it pretty amazing that the vast majority of the million blogs I read haven't mentioned Hip Hop vs. America including SOHH.com and All Hip Hop. Only Nahright.com covered it. I thought the show was excellent and I think Nelly and TI are intelligent men that have already experienced some character growth and that will get better and more widespread if we continue this discussion. Of course it would be better if we could get the puppet masters, i.e. lable heads in on the discussion, but if they won't cooperate the rappers need to start a mutany on their assess. Someone needs to take a stand on them pimping our community to line their pockets.

ChingDiva said...

Can't believe you watched the whole thing. I had to change after she woke up bionic.

Sahara said...

Hey Bird,

I agree Nelly and TI are intelligent but they didn't really show it on that panel. They were reduced to fending off every question like they were on trial for murder, instead of entering the discussion. It was very interesting to watch and but edited horribly. I'm surprised by the lack of coverage also.