Saturday, April 5, 2008
Flavor Flav: "Under One Roof" trailer
I may have finally grown disenchanted enough with the "Flavor of Love" franchise to abstain from watching it even for the sake of recapping it. But lightning strike my black ass if I ain't interested than a motherfucker in this: Always great when we get a reminder that MY9 still got some UPN in 'em. The network has long since lost me in the sea of supernatural privileged white bitches with problems. Actually, they lost me at "Homeboys in Outer Space." But respect to the network staying loyal to Flex and finally breaking him off with "One on One." I'll bet that kid likes "Snakes on a Plane." He looks like Kel's hopelessly gay little brother they never talk about. On the subject of siblings ne'er spoken of and network loyalty to Flex, pay special attention when homie says "the show went a different direction." Translation: Flex caught the Judy Winslow, son. Sorry. "One on One's" the best segue I got to "Under One Roof" straight-man, Kelly Perrine. Okay, I'm kidding. It's the only segue I got to Kelly Perrine. Sadly enough, this time around Kelly sounds like he's warning unsuspecting white people of imminent danger instead of pitching an exciting new sitcom. Whoever wrote/developed/pitched this shit has to feel what Damon Wayans was feeling halfway through "Bamboozled." Kadeem Hardison don't feel shit but happy as hell that he came up on some work. "I can't believe we got Kadeem Hardison!" Crackheads tend to overvalue shit (i.e.: the PS3 you bought from one for $20). I guess Flavor can't tell, but Kadeem lookin hurt. Never more than now has it been so painfully obvious how badly this nigga fucked up lettin Chante Moore go to that light-skinned nigga Kenny Lattimore. I guess if they worked with light-skinned Ron from "A Different World," Dwayne Wayne's number is in that Rolodex somewhere. So UPN/my9 somehow couldn't find a way to squeese Marques Houston into this? Shit. That preemptively murders my hope to find Chris Brown toe-wopping about in an episode somewhere along the line. Pierre Lecroix be damned. Let me get this straight. We've got Flavor Flav as an ex-con. Dig it. Kelly Perinne is the tight-ass, smarty-art nigga. Dig it. What the fuck is Dwaaaaaayne supposed to be? The past-his-prime intramural athlete? The loveable and witty strip mall pimp? Michael Bivins? I know I ain't missin the first episode of this shit. I don't know about anything past that. However, I do know that success or not, the network's gonna suck the life out of Flavor Flav and leave him in the gutter like a spent condom the same way they did Flex.