Monday, January 14, 2008

Terrell Owens Cries Like Bitch After Loss

"It's unfair, man," Owens sobbed. "So who can you take down to Cabo or Veracruz or whatever? Would there be so much controversy if it were Carrie Underwood or Mandy Moore?" I'm with you, T.O. The black stars are at Freaknik with Megan Goode and Lauren London and nobody cares. No one says Kim Kardashian fucked over Reggie Bush's sophomore campaign, right? I'm just surprised to see such vehement quarterback defense from a man who called Jeff Garcia, essentially the exact same QB 15 years older, a "fag." Even the most fanatic of NFL viewers had yet to see Owens block like this. I know they take T.O. off his medication for the game, but somebody needs to follow him around for a couple of days or something. They gotta put a tail on this nigga before he tries to make another painkiller cocktail and let his publicist "f" him in the "a" with a big, black strap-on. Here are some other important postgame comments. I'm glad Pierce and Strahan threw that little extra salt on them niggas' popcorn. Ugh, I can't stand the damn Cowboys. You know in the offseason T.O. is gonna denounce "Tony Homo" and appeal to sign with the Giants, right? The writers, yet again, don't give Elisha and the G-Men a touchdown's chance on Jeopardy. I generally don't expect much from the big, blue disappointment but their current postseason run has earned them some leeway and the ephemeral endearment of New York fans. Let's go Giants.

4 comments:

Anza Borrego Spirit said...

Man, I was so happy to see the Cowboys get their asses kicked. With the Cowboys down, I at least stand a chance of being able to watch the Super Bowl without hating both teams playing with a burning passion.

I love my Chargers to death, but there's a greater chance of T.O. making some damn sense than them winning the Super Bowl. "Anyone but the Patriots" is my motto for Super Bowl XLII. Can someone please kick at least one of Tom Brady's teeth in? T.O. needs to put that energy into something constructive...

c b w said...

T.O. is a bitch!!! This dude is in the process of becoming Jerry Jones top house nigga. All of that fucking crying. Nigga please!!! I would have understood the crying had it been done on the field during the final ticks of the clock or after the game was over on the field. I would have accepted the tears had it been on the bench with a towel over your head like players are supposed to do. But at the podium?!!! The podium?!!! (in the voice of Jim Mora Sr.) This dude is defending his QB like an early Annie Mae Bullock defended The Notorious I.K.E. #81 should be referred to as Young Uncle Ruckus from now on.

Hashim said...

Strahan is an ace smack talker on the low. Did you hear what he said last week about how he would go on vacation with Jessica Simpson. A slick dig hidden as a defense of Romo.

I love the Giants defense right now. They eat quarterbacks.

Manning is still incosnsitent - ain't nothing changed. inconsistent means you have some good games, and you have some bad games. This was a good game for Eli.

The defense (best pass rush in the league!), and the insanely accurate kicker (the best ever at punting the ball into the corner, according to one announcer) allow the offense to not have to take risks.

Penney said...

Well...I'm going to throw in a "go Favre!" just for the heck of it...and bring on the Super Bowl ads!