Thursday, January 31, 2008

Roy Hibbert Actually Patrick Ewing's Son

By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Writer NEW YORK - A star-crossed meeting with the St. John's Red Tampons took a strange turn for Georgetown star center, Roy Hibbert. On a Wednesday night at Madison Square Garden where the biggest story around the assured ass-whipping was to be the matchup of New York Knicks offspring, it was Roy Hibbert who yet again managed to take center stage. After Anthony Mason, jr. saw his Red Storm take one in the face from Georgetown, he witnessed a Hoya family reunion. "I was just about to meet my pops by the Port Authority when I overheard Pat[trick Ewing, sr.] telling Hibbert he was his daddy." recalled a visibly disturbed Mason, jr. "And it wasn't in like that 'Who's your daddy?' way. You could tell." When asked if he was surprised by what he heard, Mason, jr. sounded more surprised that he'd heard anything at all. "I can't believe he had him on speakerphone." As soon as Mason, jr. managed to break his father's hooker trance, the original Mase seized an opportunity to captialize off of his old friend and frontcourt mate. Immediately following a threatening voicemail from Mason, sr., the "Hoya Destroya" took the time to come clean following his own team's game. "Tried to get a nut and I got a nut and what." the senior Ewing told reporters after a 107-91 Orlando victory over the division rival Miami Heat. Now that the paternity situation is out in the open, Hibbert and newly-discovered brother Ewing, jr. have much to talk about. "At least one of my dad's kids is going to play in the NBA. That's a big relief to him and my mom, Rita." Ewing' jr. paused. "Okay, maybe not so much for my mom, Rita." Hibbert's deft touch around the basket and hard-fought defense more resemble Georgetown's most beloved alum than his own namesake. The 7-foot-2 center's candor with the press is what may someday set him apart. "Man, I'd love to continue in my dad's legacy now that I know what it is. I don't know if I want to rot on the Knicks and never win a championship, but I wouldn't mind being one of the 50 best when it's all said and done, you know?" Hibbert managed to bring the forced reunion full circle by outlining his love for popular NBA extracurriculars. "I like strip clubs as much as any other athlete, but again I'm glad I have a father whose mistakes I can learn from. I wouldn't mind learning that little drop step either. But no, if I hook up with a team dancer or something, I'd want someone to look to that can help me keep that kind of thing on the low." It doesn't sound like he's too concerned with the "Stay In School" initiative.

1 comment:

*Future* said...

Ron you crazy as hell thanks for not blogging that Making the Band