Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Soulja Boy TellEm - "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" video

"Watch me shuffle! Watch me jig!" See, that ain't even a joke. Those are actual lyrics to this shit! This is the 4-year-old Chris Rock spoke about that couldn't talk, but could do the "Tootsee Roll." I've most certainly slowed my roll when it comes to equating all southern dance with coonery. It's ignorant and insensitive to believe that every dance that comes from our Dixie brethren is some Bojangly hoecake.-- It's only 90% Bojangly hoecake. Straight from the bowels of "The Bell Curve," Soulja Boy TellEm's "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" is the runaway winner of the Sambo Sensation 2007 pageant. It's like the American Idol of cooning. Mr. Collipark drives all the way from Atlanta to inform Soulja Boy TellEm that the slaves had been freed in the south for several weeks now. SoulaBoy no longer had to communicate the insurrection plans in the covert form of jiggaly dance. Wow. There is no way he can see clearly. He plastered those Flavor Flav sunglasses like Puerto Ricans do windshields. Why not go for the Calvin & Hobbes playful pissing, "100% Boricua" or "Only God Can Judge Me?" By the way, when your windshield says "Only God Can Judge Me," we know you're a pretty fucked up individual. The 'Rican doth protest much. Plaxico Burress really shouldn't be bouncing around on the tender ankle. It appears his Soulja Boy ankle is the same one he tweaked in training camp. If you are as new to this as I am, check out these white boys crank dat. This ain't the kind of crankin' it were used to seeing from white boys, but we'll take it. As most of you are already aware, even Samuel L. Jackson got involved. This is not the reaction I expected from Hitman Sammy Sam! Maybe I should have expected as much knowing his stance on black actors and available roles. I just didn't know exactly how low he'd sink for a couple of dollars. Maybe we'll catch him next summer at David Duke's house doing the Charleston. Did he see this video? Does he know this kid looks like a Japanese anime caricature of what black people are supposed to look like? Is he really dancing in support of lyrics like:
"Wa'h me shuffle! Wa'h me jig!/ Wa'h me eat dis wawdamellin!"
We got to do... something. Oh yeah, he looks like a pack of cherry Air Heads in that long-ass red t-shirt.

16 comments:

Yung Ether said...

dont trip, kid. most of us southern folk think its some jiggaboo ass shit too. and dont get me started on that fuckin cupid shuffle bullshit, that right there is shuckin and jivin at its finest.

Lowedwn said...

Man after reading that and unfortunately watching that video again this is the official touchdown dance, I mean c'mon..."Watch me Suuuuuuperman", can't you just see Lil Daryl doin that shit, talkin bout "stop makin fun of meh"

I was watching House Party last night, and I'll do the Kid N' Play before I even think about doing some nonsense of this calibur.

Sahara said...

I've been waiting for your take on this one. Great post. Although I was hoping u would give Bow weezy and O a verbal kick in the ass or 2 for their role in this shame. I was suprised to see Sam get his shuffle on also! But I think be was too busy trying to look hip(at 50) to notice the coonery. The beat and lyrics to this song are an embarrasment to music, period. "Supa soak dat hoe"? Did u see the correlating dance move? Jesus help us.....

Ron Mexico said...

see, sahara... i thought bow wow and omarion's cameo kinda spoke for itself. sad as all hell.

Athena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yung Ether said...

with the chickenhead, the ckicken noodle soup, aunt jackie, and this crank dat garbage, i just realized hip hop is becoming a ghetto ass version of a richard simmons video, except its farnsworth bentley yellin out "wah me yuuuuuuu",2,3,4.....

Edgar That Mexican Guy said...

Wow, what's up with Lil' Flava Flav?
"The Sambo Sensation 2007 Pageant"? Alot of stiff competition this year!

Deanna said...

Glad to see more people think these songs are horrible! I've said it once, and I'll say it again, I've totally stopped listening to the radio in Houston because all of the hip-hop stations play crap like this all day long. I listen to ESPN (and the only sport I like is Basketball, which is NOT year-round) and the Jazz channel (which is equally annoying considering the fact that they have like 15 songs they keep in constant rotation all day all week). Might be time to invest in satellite radio.

ONE pleads the FIFF said...

There's a misconception that a movement in any direction is progression.

Soulja boy is what Wack wants to be when it grows up.

Bird said...

Aw come on now. Yall are being way to rough on Lil Soulja Boy. He's paying homage to to our forefathers with his slave talk and slave ship dance moves. If you look closely you will see that that superman move is the one the slaves did to dive off the ship. He wrote on his glasses so Massa wouldn't see the tears and anger in his eyes as he does his jig.

This slave documentary is giving Roots a run for its money. Yall better recognize.

Sahara said...

lmao @ bird!....Ron, youre right. No need to state the obvious. I just look forward to the bashing of "kids choice nominees" at any occasion. Im kinda twisted like that. Bad me.

Mike Crown said...

This new-age coonery makes my stomach churn. Everytime i skim past the Negro channel i throw-up a little in the back of my mouth. I'm just gonna block it to prevent any damage to my esophagus.

Anonymous said...

I SAW DIS VIDEO FOR DA FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT N I WAS LIKE WHA THA FEEEZY WE NEED A NEW GENRE FOR CRAP LIKE DIS WHY ERYONE NEED A NEW DANCE TO GET A HIT.
DIS I FOR THA 13 N UNDER CROWD.

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THAGRINDAHOLIC
NEW GHETTO HIT
"RACE DA V8'S"

Anonymous said...

Dat Army Boy

http://videos.onsmash.com/v/gCwn41qxHPUA3Cpm

Anonymous said...

all "southern" dances aren't cooning. When im full of that good, i can "walk it out" all night long long. This one a little stupid. I don't think its meant for anyone over 16.

Ron Mexico said...

this is the dilemma/paradox...

it ain't for adults, but it's got adult language and content, you know?

we super-soakin hoes, shit is ugly... etc.