Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men

This hurr be some crap I stumbled on from Yahoo! News via Live Science.

I think this and many articles like it are bullshit. They're usually based on bullshit studies by bullshit researchers. I found this one to be no different, and it made a world of sense when I discovered the name of the lead researcher. (Read the fourth paragraph, lazy negroes.)

Seriously. Who decided that homeboy should be regarded as a credible authority on relationships?

"Blah, blah, blah... Ugly niggas with chunky bankrolls... Blah, blah, blah..." My opinion on the matter... Shit, don't women outnumber men like 1.5:1 or something? There's just not enough quality pipe out there. Beyonces have to marry Jiggas. It bees like that sometimes.

Secret Wire Tap Used In Governor Spitzer Sex Investigation

By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Writer ALBANY - Until earlier this morning, newly-deposed New York Governor Eliot Spitzer had no idea how his paper trail had been followed so meticulously without even the slightest of indication to himself or his staff. State Detectives Lester Freamon and James McNulty provided a bit of clarity for the disgraced official in a media session today. "Well, we've been on his money trail for some time now," Freamon told a slew of reporters on hand at the Albany State House. "It took a lot of effort and particular attention to detail to bring this one in. Fortunately for us and the people of New York, the State Police Department provided everything we needed in a timely fashion to keep our wire tap alive. I'm grateful to work in a department that is entirely devoted to police work." Detective Freamon's comment has been perceived to be a thinly-veiled stab at the noted incompetence of he and McNulty's previous employer, the Baltimore Police Department. "We're not here to talk about that. If anything I owe the city of Balitmore my career. Working there for nearly a decade gave me the tactical experience to do my job here with the New York State Police," McNulty deflected. "I'll gladly answer any question about the investigation at hand. Those who abuse their power and the trust of their constituency deserve reprecussion. They don't get to win. We get to win." The arrest and emergence of details surrounding the case come as a surprise to most as it is common knowledge that the department's top priority has been counter-terrorism. The now seven-year-long initiative has absorbed nearly eighty percent of the departmental operations budget. Even the newly-deposed governor was taken aback. "Sheeeeeeeeeeit!" Spitzer lamented while making his way out of the State House for the last time as head magistrate. "I don't even know where they got the funding or the manpower to listen to my calls and watch the women. I'm at a loss for words at this time." Spitzer's clammed tongue isa recent development as sordid details of his exchanges with various sex workers have been made public. Through transcripts the one-time Attorney General is depicted as a vocal and aggressive sexual deviant whose requests included unprotected sex and fecal play. "The great irony comes in that a man known almost exclusively for his pursuit of the abuse of funds designated for municipal use could be mired in a scandal of this nature," added political analyst and Obama campaign strategist A Pimp Named Slickback. "Still there's a matter of far greater importance at hand. We can't be havin niggas out on the streets forcing hoes into raw dog situations like that. That's bad for everyone." As a disgraced Eliot Spitzer leaves the State House, history will be made this week as Lieutenant Governor David A. Paterson is expected to be sworn in as New York's governor for the remainder of the current term. Of course, the first question they ask a nigga is if he had any invovlement in the skeet-flavored fuckery staining the chair he is slated to assume. "I didn't see shit," Paterson assured.

Kenard Just Fuckin Wit Em, Mane!

Apparently, Spider. Kenard and Bug on Chris Partlow's favorite morning show! I must say, this shit is freaking me out. This kid was last seen setting a cat on fire. We'll get to that proper-like soon.

The Wire Season 5: "The Wire... Back On Tap"

By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Staff Writer NEW YORK - After over three entire calendar years, the star whose namesake is the series title has finally returned to the program. After being written out of the plot, The Wire returns with a slight twist. "I'm kinda dirty now," Wire told Ron Mexico City this morning. "I like the direction my character has taken. I didn't want to come back if it was going to be the same old bullshit, you know?" It's not the way we're used to seeing it. There's no Freamon and Prezbo screening the "pertinents" and "non-pertinents." There's no Sydnor on the roof with a camera or buying 20 rocks. This time the shit's for keeps. "When Wood [Harris] came back to the show before I did, I was a little hurt. But I realize now it's for the best." Wire also revealed to RMC that his favorite character is Omar, but kept hush about the scar-faced jizzguzzler's fate. ----------------- I'm not sure if the opening sequence was drenched with Marlo Stanfield's bad acting or Jaime Hector's. It is strange to see Marlo convey any emotion, let alone happiness. I'm just not sure if it was intentional for Marlo to look insincere, or if Mr. Hector just didn't nail it down. I don't think we'll ever know. Jimmy's still working the paperboys like end-of-the-bar hoes at 3:15. In the process he caught Templeton trying to shit a shitter. Temp's fake call gave McNulty just enough to bring back the crowd-favorite, Wire. After having putting Levy in his Fave 5 knowing for damn well that Herc lost his job over the infamous camera, how could Marlo not have the foresight to think that Herc would try to fuck with him somehow? "That's the cell phone number of the motherfucker that put 22 bodies on us!" - Freamon The shit is so tasty, Cool Lester Smooth had a Sam Jackson moment. Mmm-mmmmmm, bitch! I apologize about my calling the State's Attorney "Bell" when his name is "Bond," and that nigga's looking pretty damn mayoral. Clay Davis is not going down without a play. Luckily for him, Jimmy is knocking him off the front page. Norrice had to put Mr. Sheeeeeit in his place with all of that kicking and screaming nonsense he was talking. Gangsters don't roll. They work on a new play. Usually at the Beacon Theater with Stephanie Mills. "The fuck is this I hear about you might not stand tall on this?" - Clarence Royce They had to box him in, but it looks like he's on board to stand tall. That's not to say, of course, he's still not going to go down swinging. Glad to see Bubbles back and still on the path. Too bad he still hasn't gotten over his AIDS guilt. As his mentor tells him, "Shame ain't worth as much as you think." Speaking of shame, I'm a little ashamed at the behavior of a fan-favorite. Omar walked right into Marlo's rat trap to take the cheese. He lost his Jim Brown-ass homeboy and everything. Was he blinded by revenge? How did he not assume that setup was a trap? If he didn't... How the fuck did he think just 2 dudes was gonna get the job done? How does Omar survive a 5-story fall? Does he survive a 5-story fall? Did he even fall? So many fucking questions. Tune in next time on "The Adventures of Lil' Omar!"

The Wire Season 5: "The Miseducation of Marlo Stanfield"

We tried to school him back in the day. Ain't easy civilizing this motherfucker. As we already know, Marlo represents the worst kind of gangster. The scourge of the black community is not the drug dealer in and of himself, but the dope man that lacks code. I'm starting to believe the second greatest danger to be the dope man that doesn't know what to do with his money. Who in their right mind would trust a monster like Marlo Stanfield with valuable information such as what to do with millions of not-yet-manicured street bills? Marlo is a foreign account away from being Idi Amin. Why empower him when he has long since made clear at co-op meetings that he has no intention on cooperating. A nigga almost said "co-opping." On the one hand, I understand Prop Joe wants to put lipstick and a wig on his chocolate monkey, but some of them curious little motherfuckers best be left in the banana tree. Leave a nigga like that in the Congo. Working a line to Vondas has served as real-life application/education regarding the importance of clean bills. It looks like Michael is about to be on serious time out for his little Six Flags excursion. It's a shame though. I know what I'd want to do if I were 14 years old with a grip of cash in my pocket... in Baltimore. I'd be at Six Flags baggin up some white girls too. Nice dolphin, nigga. They'll leave you in an abandoned building with that shit too. Much like Marlo's bodies, Jimmy's Bumfight victims are in the wrong zip code. No one's going to care until some clever ass police makes the media connection. Jimmy must not realize what they do to police in prison. Cool Lester Smooth doesn't seem to care. They both raise a valid point. McNulty and Freamon are smarter than the rest of homicide, narcotics and Major Crimes put together. Which of those humps would catch them besides Bunk? LMAO @ Stan Valchek trying to weasel his way into the acting commander. After upping the Omar bounty to 50 large, they didn't need to find "his sister, his mee-ma. Some fag he be wit'." Cheese's old ignorant ass was blinded by the cheese. Just because Norman Wilson-Querns is who he is, he gets quote of the episode honors. "Even on an acting basis, can you imagine Norrice and the ministers dealing with Commissioner Valchek?" No. No, I cannot. Luckily for him, leaking the actual plan to the top of the Baltmore Sun's editorial brass is as easy as buying your old newspaper buddy a taste at your favorite public house. These ins and outs are really starting to show themselves. P.S.: Ashy Larry & Clay Davis are going to prison unless Glynn Turman can come up with something.

The Wire Season 5: "Jimmy The Ripper"

Ripping and running with the best of them, indeed. Beadie can't make this ho into a housewife. I hope she kicks his punk ass to the curb too. Episode 2 of Season 5 finally delivers the long-awaited meeting of Avon Barksdale and Marlo Stanfield. Sure, the West Baltimore torch had long since been passed as of their wink-and-nod encounter at Avon's sentencing toward the end of Season 3, but here we have the two's first exchange. It is a doozy indeed. After flexing his muscle as king of the correctional facility, Avon proceeds to pimp Marlo and Sergei to the tune of $100,000 up front and the prospect of a renewed source of substantial income that could possibly bring the Barksdale organization back to prominence even from behind the walls of Jessop. With the 2008 "I Have A Dream Speech," Avon tucks himself squarely under the covers with his one-time rival to the tune of "Fuck them East Side bitches!" It's funny that Avon and Marlo can be civil past this: Money is a motherfucker. After assessing that nothing neither could nor would be done fiscally from above to mend his broken ship, Jimmy McNulty makes the craziest and riskiest play of his career in drunken assholery. Being the cold case murder capital that Baltimore is, Jimmy Boozetron decides to play around with the canvas a bit. He strangles a John Doe that he an Bunk catch with the idea that he could falsify the emergence of a serial killer. Ironically enough, the media would pay much more attention to a deranged strangler than a Marlo Stanfield. The Baltimore Sun and television news coverage would force the hand of the mayor's office to fund the police department. While most of us agree with the desired end result, we fail to realize that McNutty is just as big a sociopath as the Marlo Stanfields and Avon Barksdales he is devoted to chasing. Much like the gangsters he has been trying to lock up for 4 seasons, Jimmy's imposes his philosophy on life upon everyone within the reach of his Jameson-clutching arms. Enjoy Episode 3 tonight. I seen it. It's incredible. You won't be disappointed.

The Wire Season 5: "More With Less"

We're all familiar with the mantra of "doing more with less." We've bought Malt-O-Meal bagged cereals. We've worn Keds. We've made trips to the $10 Store and put tap water into our detergent bottles. What have we learned? The diluted detergent doesn't get the clothes as bright. Pro-Keds don't hold up in gym class like the Jordans. The $10 boutique wears shred into dishrags after a few shifts at Citibank. (Doubling up and wearing them to the club on Thursdays and Fridays doesn't help either.) Malt-O-Meal $1.99 bagged cereal is incredible, but that's entirely beside the point. The season 5 premiere of "The Wire" only outlines how this principle holds true in the dope game, the precinct and our newest medium of interest, the newsroom. With Mayor Carcetti funneling every last penny he can muster into the much-maligned education system we observed last season, it is the police department that suffers the most. With cutbacks across the board, The Wiretap All-Stars (AKA Major Crimes unit) must be disbanded with the exception of team captain Cool Lester Smooth and his file lackey, Det. Leander Sydnor. Left with only the resources to track down Clay "Sheeeeeit" Davis, Major Crimes watches its 4-season stalwarts McNulty and Greggs return to homicide. As we all know, an ounce of prevention in the form of a fully-operational MCU following niggas around and listening to burner conversations is worth far more than 12 humps staring at John Does and, at best, BNBG witnesses. As effective and intuitive as certain members of Major Crimes have been, it's a little surprising how aloof they were of the notion that the "Streets Is Watching." What makes you think you get a free pass to climb up buildings, sit in unmarked vans and conveniently pretend to buy newspapers without some hopper getting the eyeball on you? Despite being an excellent, dedicated unit, they exhibit the tragic flaw of a natural police haughtiness that allows those on the other side of the law to stay on the offensive and a full step ahead. It was still pretty hilarious how Bunk and Landsman tricked that poor kid with the photocopier and Mickey D's. It was almost as bad as watching a rock-dumb motherfucker like Herc buy valuable information for Levy (Avon Barksdale's Jew lawyer) for a round of Budweisers and well whiskey. When he finally learns the intricacies of the expense account, all of the Baltimore Police Department's tactical secrets will belong to the Barksdale organization. I'm sure it all fits on one sheet of paper. One-sided. Sgt. Ellis "You Gon' Take Care Of Me" Carver had his hands full dealing with the backlash from disgruntled, underpaid Western District officers. It was nice to watch him yell some of those bastards down. It's even better watching his continued maturity, exemplified by his being entirely cognizant of the bullshit he fed his men. "Professionals get paid. That's why we call them pros." Watching the only police department I've ever rooted for suffer this way only take me to the immortal words of Reg E. Cathey as Querns... I mean Norman Wilson. "When the governor threw that $50 million on the table, you should have picked that shit up... [Without it Carcetti] is just a broke-ass mayor of a broke-ass city." Many readers have asked me questions like "Ronnie, did you ever work for a newspaper?" or "Would you ever want to write for The Times?" Aside from the fact that a publication like that would never allow me to speak as candidly to the public as I'd like, this episode outlines exactly why Ron Mexico could never write for your local newsie. As Bunk and Omar have implored, "man gotta have a code." As exemplified by a great many news sources and bridges burned therefrom, sources are reluctant to trust these vinegar and baking soda doucebags with j-school degrees that will roll on them for some front page love. I also have no desire to work with editors, directors and otherwise executives that have "mastered" a ghost of the medium we navigate today. I don't need some 60-year-old in my ear about how he got Deep Throat to spill over crab cakes and pinot grigio 35 years ago. The field is nothing like what it was in their day, and for the most part these smoke-blowing relics would be better qualified to irrigate an African village than to oversee an effective publication. God does indeed still reside in the details, though. The Baltimore Sun's editor on the program is flat-out awesome. "Yeah... Stay hungry like that." Back on the skreet, Michael ended up having to put Dukie on nanny patrol. That's cool. Duke don't belong on that damn corner no way. It's like "Everybody Hates Chris" out there for him. Marlo may have been better served NOT popping shit in the co-op meetings. Being that he plans to get a line out to Sergei Malatov (Season Two), he might want to keep a low profile. But eh, that's too simple. Lisa Stansfield's illegitimate son is not one for tactful discourse. He's no diplomat. Marlo's just a gangster, I suppose. To assure he'd meet the right man, he had his African warlord lieutenant Chris Partlow go up in the municipal building and jack the mugshot photo from his file. Life got a little sweeter as Chris was further able to watch everyone watching him. If he didn't retain everything that was being said about his operation within earshot, he was 5 seconds away from overhearing Daniels and Pearlman discussing his case. He peeped McNutty on the way out of fucking with Sergei's file. Season 1 or 2 McNulty would have been all over that. I don't think the connection was made. Maybe because Jimmy's spending less time being good police and more time fucking around on Beadie Russell. That's a good woman, and Jimmy doesn't even have the decency to step outside the bar to call her. Anyways, what did you take from episode one of the final season of the greatest television program ever to happen to ever? We'll discuss episode 2 (and Bubbles) tomorrow.