Truly A Hot Ghetto Mess

Trying to lull myself to sleep the other night I stumbled upon quite possibly BET’s greatest embarrassment to date, “Hot Ghetto Mess/We Got to Do Better/We Don’t Know WHAT the Fuck to Call This Bullshit.” So… The Negro Channel thinks we have to do better, huh? Ain’t that some funny shit? THAT should be the premise of the show! BET executives should make YouTube videos imploring and encouraging black people to do better. I mean, I ain’t never seen a crackdealer tell one of his fiends:

“I think you might need to slow down with this shit, my nigga. You sure your kids got all they food and clothing and shit before I slang you this here $20 rock?”

In a wildlife conservatory effort The (New) White Folks in Charge at TNC have done just that. The same network that assures black people at least waist-depth of winged monkey shit to wade through now wants to toss a nigga a shovel. Nice. Long before I gave into the temptation, I’d watched world-class video blogger Jay Smooth dig into this program a bit. Smooth, in a David’s Sunflower Seed shell, asserts that this program attacks the irrelevant and inconsequential (such as choices in leisure hairstyle and attire) instead of the true ills of Niggerdom. I couldn't agree more. Even the “We Got to Do Better” trivia segment is bogus. They got some Tyler Perry-lookin’ nigga asking people with four dollars in their pockets and five teeth in their mouths questions from the inside of the February Burger King crown. Secret: Your average Caucasoid-American can’t name the three branches of American government either. Unfortunately, through years of disappointment and misrepresentation, I’ve come to expect that degree of oversight from TNC. What I do not expect, however, is Dr. Charlie Murphy King, jr. to be there to rub your face in the shit. This is no teary Native American at the trash heap we’re talking about. This nigga is the trash heap. A cokehead/career flunkie like Charlie Murphy is the face of “doin’ better?!” Rewind.-- The man whose most valuable contribution to society is an Uncle Rebus fable of being hopped up on white and getting slapped around by Rick James in the briar patch is supposed to be the muse of chocolate-faced inspiration? Word… and I just signed up for Pacman Jones’ Stripclub Etiquette class. I’ll let you know how that shit goes. By the end of the episode, Mista Chawlee is damn near tellin’ it on the mountain. When I thought the snowjob couldn’t get any worse, Tyree ends the program with a full-on Nigger PSA. I’m sitting on my couch like “Wow. This shit is like Mr. Rogers with cognac.” About 3 seconds later I hear:

“SSSSLLUUUURP! AAHHHH!... V.S.O.P.”

Yep. We got to do better.