Monday, August 20, 2007

Truly A Hot Ghetto Mess

Trying to lull myself to sleep the other night I stumbled upon quite possibly BET’s greatest embarrassment to date, “Hot Ghetto Mess/We Got to Do Better/We Don’t Know WHAT the Fuck to Call This Bullshit.” So… The Negro Channel thinks we have to do better, huh? Ain’t that some funny shit? THAT should be the premise of the show! BET executives should make YouTube videos imploring and encouraging black people to do better. I mean, I ain’t never seen a crackdealer tell one of his fiends:
“I think you might need to slow down with this shit, my nigga. You sure your kids got all they food and clothing and shit before I slang you this here $20 rock?”
In a wildlife conservatory effort The (New) White Folks in Charge at TNC have done just that. The same network that assures black people at least waist-depth of winged monkey shit to wade through now wants to toss a nigga a shovel. Nice. Long before I gave into the temptation, I’d watched world-class video blogger Jay Smooth dig into this program a bit. Smooth, in a David’s Sunflower Seed shell, asserts that this program attacks the irrelevant and inconsequential (such as choices in leisure hairstyle and attire) instead of the true ills of Niggerdom. I couldn't agree more. Even the “We Got to Do Better” trivia segment is bogus. They got some Tyler Perry-lookin’ nigga asking people with four dollars in their pockets and five teeth in their mouths questions from the inside of the February Burger King crown. Secret: Your average Caucasoid-American can’t name the three branches of American government either. Unfortunately, through years of disappointment and misrepresentation, I’ve come to expect that degree of oversight from TNC. What I do not expect, however, is Dr. Charlie Murphy King, jr. to be there to rub your face in the shit. This is no teary Native American at the trash heap we’re talking about. This nigga is the trash heap. A cokehead/career flunkie like Charlie Murphy is the face of “doin’ better?!” Rewind.-- The man whose most valuable contribution to society is an Uncle Rebus fable of being hopped up on white and getting slapped around by Rick James in the briar patch is supposed to be the muse of chocolate-faced inspiration? Word… and I just signed up for Pacman Jones’ Stripclub Etiquette class. I’ll let you know how that shit goes. By the end of the episode, Mista Chawlee is damn near tellin’ it on the mountain. When I thought the snowjob couldn’t get any worse, Tyree ends the program with a full-on Nigger PSA. I’m sitting on my couch like “Wow. This shit is like Mr. Rogers with cognac.” About 3 seconds later I hear:
“SSSSLLUUUURP! AAHHHH!... V.S.O.P.”
Yep. We got to do better.

7 comments:

ChingDiva said...

So right on this one as usual Mr. Mex, this is total and complete coonery.

They should've left this one on the website that they found it on.

Sahara said...

I agree with the drug dealer analogy. And as a friend asked me, "Why is Charlie Murphy giving the camera the crazy eye the whole show?" Is he tryting to scare us into "doing better" LOL The entire show is just weird, I like the animation segments, but they doesnt belong on this crappy mess.

Deanna said...

Classic. When I saw the name of this show I was like, "Nope. Not watching that." So you're better than me for sitting through an episode of that mess. At least you got one of your classic blogs out of it.

Anonymous said...

LOL at the Tyler Perry-lookin host. U aint neva lied!

tpainsvocoder said...

So tru. I wish they would have stuck to the orginal premise of clowning people instead this hypocritical trash they pulling now. U know all that "we got to do better" and "black history trivia" shit was only added in after the protest started brewing. BET is soooo lame. Its waaaay to late to act like yall give a flying f*ck about black peoples now.

P.S. I know u a busy cat but keep em coming Mexxx man! Some of us stoned slackers have nothin better to do than wait on ur next posts. If I'm left in cyberspace without your hate to guide me much longer....I'll have that "crank dat soldier boy" down to a tee (thanks to youtube)......Please don't let us become what we despise! Update!

Bird said...

I'm catching up on the blog so pleae forgive me for being late.

BET just can't get it right and this time the sponsors wouldn't let them. VH1 and MTV are allowed to serve up non stop coonery, but when BET tries to do it they are stopped in their tracks. That is probably a good thing though because I am sure they wasn't even gonna put out a good quality coonfest.

Mike Crown said...

The hate my work days have been missing has returned.