Soulja Boy TellEm - "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" video

"Watch me shuffle! Watch me jig!" See, that ain't even a joke. Those are actual lyrics to this shit! This is the 4-year-old Chris Rock spoke about that couldn't talk, but could do the "Tootsee Roll." I've most certainly slowed my roll when it comes to equating all southern dance with coonery. It's ignorant and insensitive to believe that every dance that comes from our Dixie brethren is some Bojangly hoecake.-- It's only 90% Bojangly hoecake. Straight from the bowels of "The Bell Curve," Soulja Boy TellEm's "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" is the runaway winner of the Sambo Sensation 2007 pageant. It's like the American Idol of cooning. Mr. Collipark drives all the way from Atlanta to inform Soulja Boy TellEm that the slaves had been freed in the south for several weeks now. SoulaBoy no longer had to communicate the insurrection plans in the covert form of jiggaly dance. Wow. There is no way he can see clearly. He plastered those Flavor Flav sunglasses like Puerto Ricans do windshields. Why not go for the Calvin & Hobbes playful pissing, "100% Boricua" or "Only God Can Judge Me?" By the way, when your windshield says "Only God Can Judge Me," we know you're a pretty fucked up individual. The 'Rican doth protest much. Plaxico Burress really shouldn't be bouncing around on the tender ankle. It appears his Soulja Boy ankle is the same one he tweaked in training camp. If you are as new to this as I am, check out these white boys crank dat. This ain't the kind of crankin' it were used to seeing from white boys, but we'll take it. As most of you are already aware, even Samuel L. Jackson got involved. This is not the reaction I expected from Hitman Sammy Sam! Maybe I should have expected as much knowing his stance on black actors and available roles. I just didn't know exactly how low he'd sink for a couple of dollars. Maybe we'll catch him next summer at David Duke's house doing the Charleston. Did he see this video? Does he know this kid looks like a Japanese anime caricature of what black people are supposed to look like? Is he really dancing in support of lyrics like:

"Wa'h me shuffle! Wa'h me jig!/ Wa'h me eat dis wawdamellin!"

We got to do... something. Oh yeah, he looks like a pack of cherry Air Heads in that long-ass red t-shirt.